Me and My Bride of Frankenstein

into the unknown

Thu, 12 Mar 2020 22:42:31 GMT

So there's that thing where you go five years without posting to any sort of social media and you're super okay with it. But one afternoon, you recognize someone's name on some fanfiction and remember the good times that were had on the old LJ/DW. And so you spend several hours rereading journal entries and laughing at comments and getting really nostalgic. And THEN you spend time looking at people's journals who you remember (because unfortunately you can't remember at least 75% of the people who you have friended) and see that they all have pretty much stopped posting/commenting/existing. It's a ghost town and I don't know where to go where I know the people.

I don't know, is there anybody out there still? *shines a flashlight into the darkness*

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a terrible thought has moved into my mind

Wed, 03 Dec 2014 02:30:35 GMT

Another quiet day. I had the discouraging thought today that no one talks to me on their own volition unless it's about work-related stuff. I don't think that would bother me so much if I didn't sit across from a co-worker whom EVERYBODY in the office adores. She usually has at least three visitors a day to see her and gab about silly stuff. She's very nice so I don't begrudge her her popularity but...well. You know. I didn't butt into her conversations with her friends, which I usually do, so another quiet day.

I shouldn't be sad about this because it's not like I'm the only one who doesn't have people come by to talk about non-work things. I need to keep that in mind. Also, I really need to stop comparing myself to others. That way lies madness, I KNOW this because I've been struggling with that particular form of madness all my life.

Did my running today. I know that I mentioned this past spring that I took up running and I'm still at it amazingly. I even joined a gym, something I thought I would never, ever, EVER do. To be honest, I joined it because once the time changed back in November, I couldn't go running outside after work anymore. Even if I could deal with the cold, it's certainly not safe to run outside at night. The gym is okay and relatively cheap and I'm not locked into a contract so I can quit when the time changes back next April. I've also picked up some very limited weight training, just with my stomach muscles and hip muscles.

I'm pretty pleased that I've been able to keep up with the running. I'm not fast and I don't run for long, but I'm still at it. I have also begun to MAYBE see the glimmerings of what people mean by a runner's high. I definitely run the best on the weekend because I go running in the morning when I've got the most energy and am feeling the most alert. I feel stronger too, although I'm pretty sure I haven't lost any weight since I love to eat too much. But I've got some muscles forming and like I said, I feel stronger. It's a really good feeling even if it might only be in my head and not a reality.

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this ain't a feeling I can keep

Tue, 02 Dec 2014 02:25:59 GMT

Last night's entry was really less about friends and more frustration about myself. I've been the same for so long, been someone that I don't particularly want to be, that it spilled out incoherently.

I want to be a nice person and I'd like to have friends, but not if it means hurting myself. I've spent so many years pushing down my confidence, blaming myself for things that aren't even remotely my fault, and trying to hide in the background while still being there for people. It just doesn't work for either them or me. I end up with a lot of anger over the situation and it spilled over last night.

Today, I tried deliberately to not necessarily be nice or self-effacing. Instead I tried to be quietly confident. I tried walking upright instead of hunched over, I didn't say "I'm sorry" once, I didn't run into other conversations in a pathetic play for attention. It was a quiet day; no one talked to me unless it was about work-related things but I can deal with that. I also didn't say anything stupid with my run-away mouth, which was nice. It's the beginning of what I suspect is a long road. I think it'll be worthwhile. I want to be a quiet, calm, honest, confident person. I want to stop blaming myself and then getting upset when no one cares that I blame myself. It's a vicious cycle and I'm old enough that I should be able to break free.

So I'm turning back to this journal again after three months of silence. Comments won't be turned on because I don't trust myself with comments and it's not that I was a timely responder anyway. I'll be talking about this, my new road that I'll be walking, but I'll also talk about other things fandom-related to. Having a place for quiet introspection is useful.

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i declare my independence from the critics and their stones

Mon, 01 Dec 2014 02:52:52 GMT

And sometimes I just get so tired of trying to make friends. I try to be nice at work, I try to talk to people. I try to say interesting things and it doesn't seem to work. Whatever the friend-making gene is, I just don't seem to have it anymore. People talk to me if it is directly work-related. People talk to me if I butt into their conversations. Otherwise, there's just nothing and I've gotten to the point where I'm tired of my social anxiety telling me every word I said that was stupid, every intonation that was off.

Work is having a department holiday party at a local restaurant this upcoming week but I didn't reply to the RSVP. Holiday parties are nothing but anxiety. I have to worry about who I'm sitting with, which is largely a matter of chance and the order that people arrive in. I have to worry about what to talk about. I have to scrutinize my words afterward and be embarrassed about all the stupid things I said in a pathetic attempt to make people like me. It's not worth the free food, all that worry. So I didn't RSVP. Maybe this time would have been different and I would have made a connection...but odds aren't high.

I haven't had a proper friend outside of work and the internet in years and nowadays I'm mostly okay with it. I like that I'm in complete control with what I do in my free time since nobody wants any part of my free time. On the other hand, I know that having no friends is not healthy and I do get lonely sometimes. I'm 35 and if it weren't for work and visiting my parents, I would definitely qualify as a recluse. Is it bad that outside the occasional feeling of loneliness and the knowledge that this isn't a good thing, my worst fear about being a recluse is what is going to happen to me when I get too old to care for myself by myself?

I'm tired of feeling like I say the wrong things every damn day of my life. Why do I hold myself accountable? I'm going to quit trying. I'm going to quit trying to strike up conversations, I'm going to stop joining conversations. I'm going to stop reaching out and engaging because I haven't been able to get what I'm searching for out of it in a long time. No more crappy jokes, no more small talk, no more trying to impress. Time to stop lying to others and myself.

I'm not nice and I don't want to care anymore.

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go. die.

Sun, 10 Aug 2014 23:41:59 GMT

HELLO, MY NAME IS ALICEYLAIN AND I AM PROUD AND HONORED TO ACCEPT THE TITLE OF "WORST JOURNAL/COMMENT RESPONDER EVER". IT TAKES WORK TO PROCRASTINATE AT RESPONDING TO JOURNAL ENTRIES AND COMMENTS AS CONSISTENTLY AS I DO.

Continuing in the vein of Obvious To Everyone News, sports anime is the worst thing ever. Ever.

Like this little shit. Ugh. Go into a fire and die. He reminds me so much of Atobe from Prince of Tennis, with his stupid King title and his fangirls and his "I'm better than you attitude". I know that Karasuno needs to lose a match at some point but it'd better not be the one against Aoba Josai. KARASUNO, YOU'D BETTER BEAT THIS GUY UNTIL HE'S CRYING UNDER THE FLOOR BOARDS. I hope his perfectly coiffed hair flattens under the strain of the impending beat down.

I have also decided (finally) my favorite Miracles player from Kuroko's Basketball. It's this other little shit.

STUPID GLASSES KINK UGH UGH UGH. I mean, I love Kuroko and all but I will always have my heart stolen by the glasses character. It's just the way things are. Plus, Aomine is even more of a shit than Midorima, Kise is Popular One which automatically invalidates him to me somehow, Murasakibarahooboo pretends to not care about sports and teamwork, and Akashi doesn't know the meaning of the word "lose" which annoys me in sports anime. That leaves Kuroko and Midorima and Midorima has glasses and a fetish for perfection. So. You know. *draws sulky hearts around him* HE HAS GREEN HAIR IN THE ANIME, THIS IS WHAT SPORTS ANIME HAS REDUCED ME TO.

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she's the name tag on the toe of your long dead love affair

Tue, 29 Jul 2014 23:42:49 GMT

Soooooo. I may not have ever said specifically (I honestly can't remember) but I have a thing for zombies. I'm not saying that I'll read or watch every piece of fiction with zombies in it, but if there ARE zombies, there's a good chance I'll check it out. And pommenade reblogged quite a few photosets on tumblr that had what appeared zombies in them, I knew I had to check out the series.

Yeah, so I watched both seasons of BBC's In The Flesh and I pretty much adore it. The trailer from the first season is pretty spot on; if you think it looks like it's a show where there are very few happy endings, then you're absolutely right. There's very little happiness in the show, so be aware of that going in. The basic premise is that a zombie uprising happened but mankind figured out a way to "fix" the undead. They're still undead but when they take a special medicine, they regain their memories and brain functions. It's an interesting premise which leads to a lot of clashes and questions as to what to do with the "fixed" undead. I am REALLY hoping to get a third season as the second season didn't wrap up all the questions brought up but so far there isn't any confirmation from the BBC.

Since I'm talking about zombies, I might as well quickly pimp some other zombie fiction that I enjoy.

Feed by Mira Grant: This book is abso-fucking-lutely amazing. It takes place around 20 years after the undead uprising and society is still plugging along. Blood tests are required to go anywhere, the CDC reigns supreme in the US government, and bloggers are starting to take over from the mainstream media as the preferred form of news reporting. A team of young adult bloggers are chosen to follow a presidential candidate as he campaigns and. Well. Stuff happens. The strength in this book is by far Georgia Mason, the narrator and main protagonist. Georgia is AMAZING and I love her so much and everyone should give this book a chance just for her.

Rot & Ruin by Jonathan Maberry: I love this book as well, although not as much as Feed. This one takes place in California and humanity isn't doing so well. Benny Imura lives in a fenced-in town and his big brother Tom is known as the biggest, baddest zombie killer around. Benny reluctantly becomes his brother's zombie killer apprentice and we learn that zombies aren't the scariest thing that can be found out in the "rot and ruin". My favorite character in this story is Tom Imura due to how he handles his brother and makes his own philosophy and morals in a zombie-infested world. Also, unlike Feed, we don't know why the zombie uprising happened and that is one of the ongoing mysteries as the series progresses.

Warm Bodies: I kind of love narratives that are from the point of view of the zombies and Warm Bodies does it very well. The movie is narrated by "R", a teenage zombie who can't remember his name but wishes that he could really connect with people. While chomping down on somebody, he sees a living girl and faaaalls in loooooove. It's a little sappy but I still like the movie a lot, particularly R's internal narrative and how he begins to change from a zombie into something else. I keep meaning to read the book that it's based on sometime. Note to self: I should do that soon.

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Mon, 07 Jul 2014 23:36:40 GMT

I was going to do a long post that held reactions from the Spring 2014 anime season. Then I saw naye's post where she embedded an AWESOME One Piece AMV and well. You know how things go.

Sooooo goooooood. Oh, my heart, One Piece. Now I want to rewatch all the OP movies and get caught back upon the manga.

Okay, maybe I can do a quick reaction post.

Haikyuu!: Sports anime will forever have a special place in my heart. I adore Haikyuu!! a lot because it does remind me of Oofuri quite a bit. Seems to me there are two types of sports anime: the type where it's almost a flat-out shounen show where the players have special inhuman moves and every match just ups the intensity to max and then the type where the pace is slower and the characters don't have inhuman moves but more thoughtfulness and heart. Now don't get me wrong, I watch the first type since I've been a fan of Prince of Tennis and watched all of Kuroko's Basketball. But I will always prefer the second type and I don't have random times where I'm thinking, "And where did the laws of physics go?" to distract me. I don't know how long Haikyuu! is greenlit for but I hope it's for a long time. Also, Tanaka's my favorite by far. By faaaaaaaaaaar and I hope he gets a larger role as the series goes on.

Akuma no Riddle: This was a very niche show that I just so happened to be the target audience for? I dunno, maybe I just have a weird thing for girl assassins but I eagerly watched each episode during the run. It's nothing special, the plot is rather formulaic but oh my god, I just wanted to see Tokaku and Haru get their happy ending. I don't think this show has much rewatchability value but I still enjoyed it a lot the first time around. If you like assassins, violence, and girls kicking ass, you'll probably enjoy this one.

Selector Infected WIXOSS: I came into this one late but boy, am I glad I did. The plot is a very close sibling to Puella Magi Madoka Magica in which wishes are promised to girls but nothing good happens as a result. Puella Magi Madoka Magica is definitely superior in my mind as the plot just seems tighter and I enjoy the characters more. Still! I'm happy it's getting a second season since the first season ended on SUCH A CLIFFHANGER OH MY GOOOOOD ugh. If you like Puella Magi Madoka Magica, I'd definitely recommend giving this one a try.

Soul Eater Not!: I HAVE NOT ACTUALLY FINISHED THIS YET, I STILL HAVE THE LAST EPISODE TO WATCH but it looks like there's a definite theme in the shows I watched this season. And that theme is female-heavy casts. I love Soul Eater a whole lot and was relatively pleased with Soul Eater Not! I loved getting some backstory on Liz and Patty, I loved the friendship between Tsugumi, Anya, and Meme. I could've done with a tighter plot. (The stuff with Eternal Feather was totally swept by so quickly that it felt jarring.) But it was a sweet show whose ending will hopefully not break my heart.

No Game No Life: I gave this one a chance because my brother is head-over-heels about it and I did end up enjoying it quite a bit! I'm not a gamer at all (if I play games, it's for the story and not the actual gameplay) but I liked the insight into how gamers thing AND how a gamer world would operate. I could have done without all the fanservice, which got icky at times, but it wasn't anything I hadn't seen before (and how sad is it that fanservice is so commonplace). I really enjoyed the animation too because anything with over-the-top color is fine by my book. I actually hope this one gets another season since I'd like to see Sora and Shiro actually challenge the gamer god.

This next season is looking good too! I'll have to post some first reactions once I, you know, watch some of the first episodes. Unfortunately, I've been sucked into watching Umineko No Naku Koro Ni and considering how much I love horror, it's unlikely to shake me loose until I finish the 30-something episodes.

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Fri, 30 May 2014 01:12:05 GMT

I just cannot seem to get back into the groove of weekly posting. I have things going on, it's just that I have zero desire to put those things into words. Blegh. Here, have some more comics.

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i am a constant satellite of your blazing sun

Sun, 20 Apr 2014 21:59:46 GMT

Oh man, there is NO WAY to come back from an extended hiatus gracefully. So instead of being graceful, I will just list out things I've been watching lately that I have an opinion on.

Haikyuu!!: I am watching this because sports anime seems to be my hidden bulletproof genre that I can't resist. I've only seen two episodes but am enjoying it. The animation is quite good, the characters are interesting, and it's a sports anime.

Baby Steps: Another sports anime that has a horrible, horrible, horrible title. I almost didn't watch the first episode because of how horrible the title, despite it being my bulletproof genre. BUT one of the main characters is a girl and my god, how much do I want a sports anime with a girl actually playing the sport? SO MUCH. I am waiting for the day for a modern girls sports anime and when that day comes, I will scream my joy from the top of my apartment building. Anyways, I wasn't overly impressed with the first episode, because I don't care much for the main hero, but so many people have praised that manga that I'm willing to continue with the series for awhile. Plus, I mean, tennis. Part of my fandom roots is tennis.

Soul Eater Not!: I've never really talked about it much but I really loved the hell out of Soul Eater. I loved the world design, the character designs, and Crona is a fascinating character. Again, I've only seen one episode so far, but the fact that the protagonists are three girls already endears me to it. And two of them kicked the shit out of two jerky boys was icing on the cake. I could have done with 50% less Soul Eater cameos but eh. It was just the first episode.

Akuma no Riddle: This is so horrible, horrible, horrible and I am lapping it up with a spoon, I am. All lady assassins, all stuck in a high school, all targeting one girl with a Mysterious Past except for one lady assassin who says NO I SHALL DEFEAT YOU ALL AND PROTECT HER and they are such stereotypes and I don't care. I don't care. Judge me all you want but I can't wait to see how renegade lady assassin will prevail each week and to find out the Mysterious Past of the target.

Mushishi: I tried watching the original season of Mushishi and could never get into it. I watch the first episode of this second "season"...and I still can't get into it. Guys, why is Mushishi loved so much?

One Week Friends: I watched the first two episodes and I don't think I'll continue. While I don't have anything against it's amnesia premise, the characters just don't speak to me at all.

Community: Is it me or is season five WORSE than season four? I mean, I love gimmick episodes as much as the next person but every. single. episode. has been a gimmick episode. Every single one. It was a huge mistake to have the characters graduate from Greendale because part of the plot of the show was watching how the characters dealt with the school and classes. Without that, they're apparently stuck with gimmick episodes where the characters don't grow and where there are no good plots. I just. I love Community and to watch it in its current incarnation is a little painful. Plus, just how many times are they going to Save Greendale?

Parks and Rec: I'm putting this under a cut since it contains a fairly significant spoiler. ( SPOILER )

Hannibal: I mostly watch Hannibal while peeking out behind my hands because I hate gore. Watching Hannibal is like watching a very slow-moving car wreck. You know what's going to happen and damn, you're wincing all along the way. NOBODY IS HAPPY IN THIS SHOW. NOBODY. But I am THOROUGHLY glad that Will found out about Hannibal at the end of last season and that they didn't stretch out the "surprise" another season. It's more interesting to me now that Will isn't so much a victim.

Even though I wasn't posting journal entries here, I was still posting comics on tumblr. Here's yet another one. I seem to have been sucked into a Revolutionary Girl Utena headspace and I'm milking it for all it's worth.

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and the ghosts in the attic, they never quite leave

Tue, 11 Mar 2014 23:55:29 GMT

Guys, I'm gonna have to call a moratorium on weekly posting of actual posts for awhile. I've just been feeling tired and sad and tired and tired and TIRED. Hopefully, I'll get my groove back in a couple of weeks. In the mean time, I don't have anymore Honey pictures, but here are some more comics that I've done.

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you never saw a thing and i was never there

Mon, 03 Mar 2014 00:08:19 GMT

Oh man, some weeks you sit down to write and entry and your brain totally bails on you. I've got zilch right now and want nothing more than to watch some episodes of Parks and Rec. So I'm gonna go watch some episodes of Parks and Rec and bail on all of you on a weekly entry!

In consolation, here are some of my favorite pictures of Honey that I have totally posted before but let's be honest, I'm bailing here, so the bar for new stuff is pretty much non-existent.

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like lipstick is a sign of my declining mind

Mon, 17 Feb 2014 00:46:25 GMT

I have, strangely enough, been feeling like doing comics lately. So, I've been doing comics lately! And yes, I really do have blush that old, chapstick that old, and a tiny nub of eyeliner that I've had since the beginning of time. This probably says more about me than I'd like it to.

That said, it's a little misleading because I haven't worn make-up consistently through-out my life. There have been times when I went years without wearing make-up unless it was for a fancy occasion. For a long time, I've actively hated make-up because I didn't know how to put it on correctly and I hated that I felt like I had to wear something that I didn't know how to do. Now, I wear make-up almost every day because I feel more confident with it on and I like the way it makes me look. I still don't think I put it on correctly but I did get some fool-proof eyeshadow that makes my eyes look dramatic despite my floundering.

There is no much to report on except that our Technical Lead is going to be out of the office for the next six weeks due to surgery. This is BAD NEWS because he knows everything and always has an answer to a problem and we frequently have lots of problems. It's gonna be a rough six weeks, let me tell you. I have a small poster that I drew up in my cubicle that says KEEP CALM and DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD. I need to keep that in mind, particularly the keep calm part.

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Guess who has two thumbs and has an exciting career opportunity for you?

Thu, 06 Feb 2014 00:26:25 GMT

Seriously, Community, give Shirley something to do. She's pretty much been a one-liner for season four and so-far for five. We've heard nothing about her husband and kids except for episode one. Give her moooooooore to doooooooooooooooo.

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A Better Happy Ending, PG, Revolutionary Girl Utena

Sun, 05 Jan 2014 21:34:57 GMT

So Yuletide did its reveal and I'm happy to post my story here. It did decently in the exchange, all in all, although I get the feeling that my assignee didn't care too much for it. I did the best with their request that I could; after-canon stories aren't usually my favorite so I tried to mix canon timeline with after-canon timeline. printfogey was a gem and did a GREAT beta. In the end, I'm pretty satisfied with what I finished with. I wouldn't say it's a perfect story but there are some elements that I adore and the flow is well-defined.

Title: A Better Happy Ending
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Rating: PG
Summary: "Once upon a time," Anthy began, "there was a girl who wanted to be a prince."
Notes: Written for veleda_k. The title is from the song "Fairytale" by Sara Bareilles. Thank you very, very much serrende for the absolutely fabulous beta. This story would have been riddled with grammar and tone issues without your input!

( Read more... )

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Yuletide Fanfiction Recommendations!

Fri, 27 Dec 2013 15:14:32 GMT

So, I've been reading the Yuletide archive (ah, to have a couple of days off work!) and I've got a number of initial recommendations to give. The first being, of course...

Temeraire Series by Naomi Novik
Call and Response
Temeraire and Perscitia
Summary: Dragons, higher education and excerable poetry...Excerpts from the historic correspondence of Vice Chancellor Emeritus Perscitia OBE PhD PhD and the dragon Temeraire, circa 1870.

This was my gift and oh my, is it a good one. Something that disappointed me in the Temeraire series is how Perscitia pretty much disappeared from the narrative after Victory of Eagles. So to get a story where she's one of the main voices is a real treat. That it explores the struggle of dragons being recognized as academic figures is even better. Seriously, if you're familiar with the Temeraire series, this is a great story.

Revolutionary Girl Utena
Their Tragedy
Shadow Play Girls
Summary: The part where they woke up afterwards was--blurry. Painful. Michie never liked to think on it. Particularly not the part where the End of the World carefully peeled up their shadows like water-soaked labels off a jar, his long fingers sliding under the skin of their being--no, they were all skin now, nothing else left--and pinned them up neatly against a smooth wall the next building over.

This story is not getting the traffic it should and that's a shame. It's a fabulous look at the Shadow Play Girls and their origins. I read the entire thing with my eye growing larger and ugh. Seriously, this is so good. Read it, read it, read it!

The Stand by Stephen King
How the Light Gets In
Original Character
Summary: Bipolar in the wake of the superflu.

I am not particularly educated on what it's like to be bipolar but this story is an excellent look at what it would mean to have a pre-existing condition in a post-apocalyptic type world.

Gentleman Bastard Series by Scott Lynch
a glass poured to air
Lock, Sabetha, Jean
Summary: There comes a day months afterwards, almost enough to begin counting in years, when Locke Lamora stops in front of a mirror and says, "Lamor Acanthus."

SPOILERS IN THIS STORY. But it's a lovely look at a possible after of the third book.

Parks and Rec/Welcome to Night Vale
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Dog Park
Leslie Knope, Ann Perkins, Night Vale City Council
Summary: The curious incident is that there is no dog in the dog park, and Leslie thinks that's really stupid. Ann's pretty sure that argument's going to get her killed.

This is absolutely brilliant and a perfect fusion of both the canons. Ugh, now I want to see a series of the Parks and Recs characters in Night Vale.

Kushiel's Legacy by Jacqueline Carey
The King's Poet
Anafield Delauney, Rolande de la Courcel, Edmee de Rocaille
Summary: In which circumstances are different enough that Anafiel becomes an agent for the Unseen Guild, and later the King's Poet, until he finds that his obedience to the Guild is becoming compromised by his deepening feelings for Prince Rolande.

An alternate look at how Anafield and Rolande could have gotten together. I was struck at how much like Carey's writing this story reads. Very, very well done.

The Emperor's New Groove
we must strive for perfection
Kronk, Yzma, Kuzco, Pacha
Summary: It figured that the week Kronk decided to really concentrate on his baking would also be the week that everyone decided they wanted to see him.

Kronk is always the best choice for a narrative voice and this story does NOT disappoint.

Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore
River Deep, Mountain High
Bitterblue, Katsa
Summary: To Bitterblue, Katsa will always be as big as a mountain.

This is more of a character introspective and doesn't really have much plot but it's a fabulous introspective on how Bitterblue views Katsa.

Chihayafuru
Knew You When
Wakamiya Shinobu, Ayase Chihaya
Summary: In the last year of elementary school, one of the most promising young karuta prodigies of the decade transferred to a new school in Tokyo. From Kyoto.

Ugh, ugh, ugh, this! I didn't know that I ship Shinobu and Chihaya until I read this! Lovely look at Shinobu and what might have happened if she had transferred to Chihaya's school instead of Arata.

Karuta Clubhouse
Ayase Chihaya, Mashima Taichi, Wataya Arata
Summary: When Chihaya comes up with the idea of the three of them moving into a shared house, Taichi gives her a bulleted list titled, “Reasons Why This is the Absolute Worst Idea, Ever.”

I was absolutely pulled in by the summary and charmed by how each of the three characters react to living together.

Oofuri
Strategies of Trust
Abe Takaya, Mihashi Ren, the Nishiura Baseball Team
Summary: The team takes care of its own. Abe and Mihashi finally master their own forms of communication.

Lovely team interaction, interesting plot! I loved how the team pulls together and each member has their own voice.

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Yuletide Update

Wed, 11 Dec 2013 00:05:04 GMT

My Yuletide story isn't going as well as I hoped. It's my own fault since I didn't work on it in the month of November except for the last week. Now, I'm on strict half-hour writing session every day until it's done. The good news is that it's about 90% done. The bad news is that it still needs a lot of revision because I will often write awful, clumsy sentences just to get something out and moving forward. Of course, I'm also in the phase of the story where I believe it's awful and stupid because I've been thinking about it so much. I pretty much always am convinced a story is awful if it takes me more than a day or two to write.

I expect that it will turn out decently in the end; nothing that will shake the fandom but my writing isn't particularly fandom-shaking anyways. I just hope my recipient likes it. I did try to put in everything they asked for. Plus, the story is currently 3500+ words and will likely hit over 4000+, which is pretty good for me.

I don't have much else to say right now. Been feeling a little down, which I will chalk up to the fact that it's full-blown winter in Ohio with darkness and ice and snow and freezing temperatures. I took yesterday and today off work, but I will be glad to go back tomorrow. Yes, work brings me worries but it's also nice to socialize with co-workers and put my energies towards a goal. When I have days off, I just tend to putter around and not do much. It's relaxing, sure, but I don't necessarily feel fulfilled when all is said and done.

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let's dim the lights and put on a show

Sun, 24 Nov 2013 23:53:29 GMT

Soooooooo, the 50th Anniversary Doctor Who special aired last night.

Hoo boy, did it ever fan the flames of this little Whovian's heart!

( spoilers under the cut )

In short, it was a fun, HAPPY, hopeful special that I definitely will be rewatching. And I'm really jazzed for the Twelfth Doctor to make an appearance and the next season to begin. As much as I like Matt Smith, it's exciting to get a new face and new talent into the role. PETER CAPALDI, I'M EXCITED FOR YOU. God, have they announced when the next season will air? Pleeeeeeeease let it be Spring 2014 and not December 2014.

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rev up the crowd, rewrite the rule book

Tue, 05 Nov 2013 00:43:50 GMT

I totally had a post planned out in my head last week but I'm just not feeling like actually writing it out in paragraph form. So I'm going to try doing this in quick sentence form!

1. I think I might be turning into a cooking person? Which I think can only be good for me.

2. I'm also turning into social justice food snob. You know, someone who defends vegans and wants everyone to question where their food comes from and wants to tell them how the majority of their food is made. Which won't help me make friends, that's for certain.

3. Whenever I cook, I think about Sanji from One Piece and how disappointed he would be in how much food I waste. So I try to waste less.

4. But I also think that he would try to support me when my meals go horribly wrong. "Don't worry Aaaaaamber-chaaaaaan, do you know how many shitty meals I've made? And I'm a world-class cook!"

5. I love Yowapeda so much, help help help, there's only been three episodes! But the main character is so charming!

6. Trying to make myself watch Ace of the Diamond. So far, isn't working. Same with Elementary and I loved the first season of that show.

7. Where is the next episode of Sleepy Hollow?! *grumpy face*

8. DOCTOR WHO THIS MONTH WOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEEEEEWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

9. Where oh where is the good Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction hiding? I must not be looking in the right places.

10. I got another 1,000 words written on my Yuletide assignment! I figure that I'll have the first draft done in another 1,000. Then I can focus on editing, revising, and fleshing things out.

10. It's funny how I made a valiant effort in the beginning of this list to be somewhat serious and it quickly devolved into fandom stuff. And not well connected either. I will have to try harder next weekend to do a proper post.

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don't touch me please, i cannot stand the way you tease

Sun, 20 Oct 2013 22:07:03 GMT

Another week, another post. I decided to do first reactions to this season's anime shows that I'm currently following. I'm not particularly spoilery with my reactions but I've placed them under cuts just in case.

( Kill La Kill )

( Kuroko's Basketball )

( Ace of the Diamond )

( Yowapeda )

Also, I got my Yuletide assignment and I'm relieved. The prompt is something that I can definitely do and, in fact, I've already got a decent idea brewing. It needs some more work before I can begin to actively work on it...like coming up with an ending. (Endings are the absolutely bane of my creative process.) But! All in all, I feel pretty confident! Plus, I have about two months to write at least 1,000 words, which shouldn't be too hard. (I say now. Watch me totally stall on it in December.)

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Undone, G, Revoluationaru Girl Utena

Tue, 15 Oct 2013 00:07:50 GMT

Hoooooooly crap, signing up for Yuletide was an exercise in dithering and dithering and more dithering. The problem, of course, wasn't the requests. Those took me ten minutes to nail down. The hard part was the offers because I had very specific criteria for an offer. It had to be a canon that I was very familiar with (read or watched at least two times), not known for overly clever dialogue (because I don't want that sort of pressure on me), not known for overly clever plots (I am better at character-introspective stories than plotty stories), does not have specific accent or pattern to dialogue (archaic or era-specific canons are right out), and lastly, something that I actually wanted to write in. While there are canons I adore, I don't always want to actually write fanfiction for them.

While coming up with my sign-up and worrying about whether I could write a decent story, it occurred to me that I haven't really written anything since January of this year. Which means...I need to start writing again. Even if what I write is crap. Even if it's hard. And since I had the day off today, I decided I would write and post something. Even if it is crap. Even if it is hard. Since this was a product of about four hours, I decided to start easy and with a canon that I've written in before. This week, I'll try to write in a canon that I haven't before and see where things go.

Shiori holds a fascination for me, more so than Juri does. Juri seems so one-note, while Shiori more complex. I've also found fanfiction that has them getting together in the end to be a little ridiculous. It's clear to me from the canon that even if Shiori were inclined that way, that they would still never, ever get together. And even if they were to get together, it would be the worst relationship in the world. It's a relationship of failed communication and pain and it's hard for me to believe that anyone could look past that.

Title: Undone
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Rating: PG
Summary: The path that was prepared for Takatsuki Shiori.
Notes: Includes dialogue from episode 17. Very rough but this is meant more as practice than anything else.

( Someone behind her stabbed a black rose into her chest and Shiori flung back her head back with a groan. )

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Mon, 14 Oct 2013 20:37:55 GMT

Dear Yuletide Person!

This is my first year participating in Yuletide and I'm seriously excited! I've read stories from previous Yuletides but didn't really feel the need to participate until this year. I'm trying to get back into writing or doing creative things. And I can't get back into something unless I do it!

I absolutely adore all the fandoms I requested, so I'm pretty much guaranteed to enjoy what you write. However, you want to clearer ideas on what I like (I almost didn't make the sign-up, which is why I didn't write much or anything in the optional details), please see the below.

( Revolutionary Girl Utena )

( Princess Jellyfish )

( Ookiku Furikabutte )

( Gentleman Bastards Series )

( Temeraire Series )

In general, I would prefer a story that is light on the angst. I tend to focus more on characters and dialogue than plot, so if your story isn't thick with the plot, no worries. The story can be gen or romance, I enjoy both. As for squicks, it'd be best to stay away from rape, torture, extremely overt or gross violence, and humiliation. (Although, with these series, I'd be shocked if you wanted to lean that way.) Anyways, I'm sure you'll do fine. I can't wait to read your story!

~aliceylain

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there's a drumming noise inside my head

Thu, 10 Oct 2013 01:08:46 GMT

*determined fist of determination* I have, despite never having done it before, decided that I'm going to try Yuletide this year! opusculasedfera suggested it in my fandom ennui post last month and after having looked at the staggering amount of possible fandoms for this year, I think giving it a go will be good for me. I should be able to handle writing 1,000 words without too much trouble. (She says without too much trepidation.) I'm even a little excited! And I'll get to do one of those Yuletide letters that all the Yuletide kids get to do each year. Getting involved! In something fandom-y! Hopefully, it turns out well. Now, I just need to figure out what I want to request and what I want to offer.

I also have, right at this very moment, Republic of Thieves by Scott Lynch on my book reader. IT IS ON MY READER, SET AT THE PROLOGUE. HOLY CRAP, HAS IT EVER BEEN AWHILE SINCE I'VE BEEN THIS EXCITED ABOUT A JUST-RELEASED BOOK. I haven't looked at any reviews yet, just the summary. I don't know if I'll finish it by the end of this weekend to do a reaction post but by god, am I ever going to try.

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can't take it anymore, shake until we move the floor

Sun, 06 Oct 2013 23:18:27 GMT

Just what is it about sports anime?

I mean, I'm not particularly into sports; I don't go out of my way to watch any games. If there's a sport that I like watching, baseball would probably be it. Still, I don't go out of my way to watch it. But I tend really like sports anime anyways when I tune into it. It's probably because we get to see inside the characters' heads as they play their game and that the author (usually) structures the games to be exciting or have a definitive narrative purpose. There are three sports anime airing this season that I'm looking forward to: the second season of Kuroko's Basketball (basketball), Ace of the Diamond (baseball), and Yowapeda (cycling). But to be honest, I might not be as excited as I am if I didn't recently rewatch probably my favorite sports anime: Ookiku Furikabutte. (And yes, I've written posts about this series before. Humor me yet again, friends list.)

There are lots of things that I love about Oofuri. I love that the sports is grounded in the real world; the sports isn't physics-defying like Prince of Tennis or Kuroko's Basketball or Eyeshield 21. The majority of the players are average players, with a couple of standouts on most of the teams. Their level of play feels plausible, although I'm definitely not an expert on high school baseball. I love that the focus isn't just on playing harder, there's a psychological aspect in the training as well. I really, really love that the team isn't the only focus with regards to characters. Oofuri is one of those rare series where we actually see the support of the parents for the players. Parental support is so important in a lot of ways and I'm glad Oofuri included it.

But I'm a character-driven person. While I can love a plot, I'm always more interested in character development than plot development. I'm usually very willing to forgive a plot for being thing if the characters are stand-out; it's harder for me to forgive a story if the plot is stand-out but the characters are so-so. And I happen to think that the development of the characters in Oofuri is superbly done.

Take the scene that I crappily screen-capped above. When the series starts, Mihashi has no confidence. Abe has a lot of confidence, so much that he pretty much steamrolls Mihashi. He says that he will make Mihashi a star if Mihashi always throws the pitch that he asks him to throw. Abe wants that control and Mihashi is so desperate for anyone to acknowledge him that he allows that control. In fact, as the story goes on, Abe likes it that he has all the control. But in the above screencap, Abe has just gotten hurt. He can't go out and catch Mihashi's pitches at that point and he can't tell Mihashi what to throw. In that moment, you can see how Abe realizes what a mistake it was to demand all the control. If Abe is not there to construct the plays, just what is Mihashi supposed to do? Especially with a substitute pitcher? Even more importantly, I think Abe also realizes that it's not only that Mihashi is dependent on him. HE is also dependent on Mihashi. He wants to catch Mihashi's pitches, he wants Mihashi to acknowledge him too. It's not a one-way street anymore and I don't think Abe wants to "use" Mihashi in this manner anymore.

Even more amazingly, Mihashi realizes that allowing Abe to take all the control for constructing the plays wasn't fair to Abe. The pitcher and the catcher are a team; no matter what experience imbalance there may be, the pitcher sees things from a different perspective that the catcher can't. The pitcher also is the only one who truly knows his/hers own condition and what they can throw. That Mihashi allowed Abe to make all the decisions was unfair because Mihashi never gave Abe all the information that Abe would need. Even if that wasn't true, it's also unfair to make someone else take the brunt of the strategizing. Team sports are team sports, which means that everyone participates. While Abe was in the wrong with regards to the promise he made Mihashi agree to, Mihashi was also in the wrong for agreeing. And he realizes this and resolves to change it.

Boom. Character development.

I actually caught up on the manga after doing my rewatch and the series just gets better. I'm sad that it's probably unlikely that another anime season will come from the manga. I'll just have to follow the manga more closely than I was. And watch the sports series that are coming out!

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i'd love to be twisted, utterly twisted

Sun, 22 Sep 2013 23:11:34 GMT

Multi-fandom post attempt! And this time, I shall properly cut each series/book so that I don't inadvertently spoil anyone. I try to be a lady, except when I forgot to.

( Blood of Tyrants by Naomi Novik )

( Silver Spoon (anime) )

( Attack on Titan (anime) )

( Team Human by Justine Larbalestier and Sarah Rees Brennan )

Aaaaand we're getting into television season again! So much is happening before the end of this year. Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special and Christmas Special, Allegiant by Veronica Roth, Republic of Thieves by Scott Lynch, Community, Parks and Rec, Elementary, new anime season, Sleepy Hollow, and probably more that I'm forgetting. So much media to consume, I feel rather spoiled.

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well my heart knows me better than I know myself

Sun, 08 Sep 2013 22:55:47 GMT

I wasn't going to post an entry tonight, I really wasn't.

Because I'm tired. I went to the local arboretum with Honey and we ran around chasing each other and sniffing things and peeing everywhere.

(Well, I didn't do the sniffing or peeing thing, but yes to the running around.)

So I didn't feel that I had the mental power to write something. Mostly because I'm lazy.

(Also, it doesn't take much to kill my mental power.)

But I just made a new meal for dinner tonight, which I did with trepidation.

(Because at least 75% of the time that I try a new recipe, it turns out bland or tastes somewhat odd.)

But this time, I hit the 25% percent winning percentage and I'm excited! New meal! New horizons!

I made Surf and Turf Cajun Pasta.

Minus the turf because I don't eat red meat these days. And minus the parmesan because I try to consume as little dairy as possible. And I substituted soy creamer for the heavy cream, which I do not particularly recommend because it didn't combine with the broth well at all. And without tomatoes because by the time I should have added tomatoes, I was tired of chopping. And I put in waaaaaaaay too much chicken broth by accident and my sauce wasn't sauce at all but broth.

And yet, even with all those substitutions and mistakes, the meal turned out good. I mean, really good. I've never cooked with cajun seasoning before, which I am suspecting has been a mistake since this meal turned out so good. The broth taste meshed really well with the cajun and the peppers. I can't wait to eat the leftovers that I boxed up!

The meal does take some work, particularly since you have cook things separately. (Although, possibly you could cook everything together but I am a cooking novice and usually follow instructions). But it isn't the hardest meal I've ever made and it's a one-skillet meal, which is nice. Anyways! Definitely try if you like pasta and shrimp!

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