aliceylain (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aliceylain) wrote2014-01-05 04:17 pm
aliceylain) wrote2014-01-05 04:17 pm
A Better Happy Ending, PG, Revolutionary Girl Utena
So Yuletide did its reveal and I'm happy to post my story here. It did decently in the exchange, all in all, although I get the feeling that my assignee didn't care too much for it. I did the best with their request that I could; after-canon stories aren't usually my favorite so I tried to mix canon timeline with after-canon timeline. printfogey was a gem and did a GREAT beta. In the end, I'm pretty satisfied with what I finished with. I wouldn't say it's a perfect story but there are some elements that I adore and the flow is well-defined.
Title: A Better Happy Ending
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Rating: PG
Summary: "Once upon a time," Anthy began, "there was a girl who wanted to be a prince."
Notes: Written for veleda_k. The title is from the song "Fairytale" by Sara Bareilles. Thank you very, very much serrende for the absolutely fabulous beta. This story would have been riddled with grammar and tone issues without your input!
"Once upon a time," Anthy began, "there was a girl who wanted to be a prince."
Utena smiled and bumped Anthy’s shoulder with her own. They lay beside each other on Anthy's half-moon bed, ankle to hip to cheek. "That sounds more than a little familiar."
"The best stories are the ones that people are already familiar with." Anthy laced her fingers together with Utena's and continued. "The girl prince didn't know how someone actually became a prince but decided that she wouldn't wait around for it to happen. She would go out and claim the title for herself. So she bought a horse, stole a sword, and set off into the world.
"It wasn't long until she came to a tower. It spiraled up and up, higher than the girl prince thought a tower could be built. The girl prince dismounted from her horse and circled the tower's base. All the way at the very top of the building was a window."
"Let me guess," said Utena. "She called up."
Anthy smiled. "Yes, she called up. She shouted as loud as she could, asking if there was anyone inside. And after a moment, someone leaned out."
"A princess?"
"Who else? The princess at the top of the tower dropped something. As it spilled out and unfurled, the girl prince realized that it was hair tumbling down out of the tower. Even though she thought a hair ladder was a little odd, in the end her curiosity about its owner got the better of her and she climbed it up."
@~ @~ @~
Anthy knew about Tenjou Utena's arrival. How could she not? After all, Anthy herself had been the one to call Utena to Ohtori Academy. Otherwise, the duelists would have just been safely limited to the Student Council.
"Anthy," Akio had said to her one day right after the duels had started again, "how are the duelists coming along?"
"Fine," she had answered because they were. It was only the very beginning of the game, after all. Everyone was always fine at the beginning, before she and Akio started stirring things up.
"Fine," he had mused, frowning. "You always say they're fine and they always fail in the end. That's why we haven't opened the door yet. We need something new. We need a complication."
"I think we have enough complications." Like tricking the duelists into continuing to fight, like making sure that nobody ever had too much information, like keeping the planetarium running on magic and a prayer. Akio, of course, didn't bother to get too involved with the details. It was always up to Anthy to make sure that everything ran smoothly.
"It's too boring," he had still insisted. "Anthy, bring someone new here. Bring someone fresh and random. I want this round to be interesting. I want to be surprised."
And so she had gone to the very top of Ohtori tower. She had taken off her shoes and let down her hair. As the wind whipped about, she had cast a spell with the words "new" and "interesting" and "complication". Utena had been the answer from the moment the spell took effect and when Utena stepped onto the Ohtori campus for the first time, Anthy felt it in her marrow.
It even hadn't been a surprise that Utena already had a duelist ring on her finger. Like calls to like and magic calls to magic, after all.
@~ @~ @~
"The girl prince climbed to the top of the tower and found herself in a small room. It had a bed, a table, and a princess.
"'Why are you up here alone in this tower?' the girl prince asked.
"'I've been imprisoned by a witch,' the princess answered. 'I have no way to leave this place.'"
"I've never understood that part of the story," Utena said. "Why would the witch imprison a girl like that? What’s the point?"
Anthy smiled and freed one of her hands from Utena's to tap Utena's cheek. "Witches are jealous, of course. They want everything for themselves and that includes princesses, since they can never become princesses themselves."
Utena frowned but didn't say anything else and Anthy continued.
"'Well, show me where this witch is,' the girl prince said, 'and I will fight her! I'm a prince and I've decided that I will save you!'
"The princess smiled and said that that sounded fine. However, the witch was away at that moment so would the girl prince like some tea?"
Utena laughed and recaptured Anthy's hand. "Of course, she would offer tea. I'm sure that would be the first thing I would to if I were imprisoned and had a visitor."
Anthy smiled. "Maybe the princess simply wanted the girl prince to stay longer."
"Oh. Um, well, go on then."
"The girl prince agreed to the tea. Both the princess and girl prince had a good time talking and when the girl prince left to climb back down the curtain of hair, she promised she would be back to fight the witch the next day. But when the next day came, the witch still wasn't in the tower. And even though the girl prince kept promising to come back to defeat the witch, it wasn't long until she was coming back for more the princess' company than to keep her promise. You see, they had become good friends during the girl prince’s visits. Good friends," Anthy said in a murmur, "and maybe something more."
@~ @~ @~
The duels proceeded as expected. Friendship, Choice, Reason, Love: there was a specific rationale for each of the fights. The first round was to finalize the main players of the game. Sometimes players were discarded in those first duels as not strong enough. Sometimes players were added, like Utena.
"I like the complication you brought in," Akio had said to her after Saionji's first fight with Utena. "She's already creating a stir." Anthy had smiled and held back from telling her brother that she liked the complication too.
Utena had won almost all of the duels, climbing the steps dutifully to the dueling arena. Anthy tried to not get too attached to any of the victors of the duels but she found herself warming to Tenjou Utena. She was just so kind, so determined to stand up for Anthy. She couldn't remember if a duelist had ever been so selfless.
And yet, sometimes Utena could be a little too patronizing.
"Why don't you even try a little to make friends, Himemiya?" she would ask over and over. "You don't even try to be friendly with the Student Council. Not Saionji, of course, but Miki and Juri are okay. Just follow my lead if you don’t know what to do!"
"Alright, Miss Utena," Anthy would respond and then do absolutely nothing. She didn't want to be friends with the Student Council. She didn't want to be friends with anyone and Utena never tried to accept that.
But still... Utena stuck by her and defended her and was Anthy's friend when Anthy would have none. Utena had no more reason to fight in the duels but kept going because of Anthy herself. That Utena was fighting for Anthy alone was a terrifying revelation.
And then one night, Anthy had slipped into Utena's bed, stilled Utena's protests, and pushed the game in another direction. After that night, they sometimes slept together; Anthy cherished those moments, not because of the sex, but because of the simple intimacy afterwards.
@~ @~ @~
"And then one day, the girl prince climbed to the top of the tower like usual. But the princess wasn't alone that day. Someone else was with her."
"The witch?" Utena guessed.
"No. The princess' brother."
Utena looked at Anthy, startled. "Her... brother?"
"That was when the princess told the girl prince the truth. That she could never leave the tower because she had promised to stay by her brother's side forever. That she had kept luring the girl prince to the tower for her brother's sake and that the girl prince would be a fitting sacrifice."
@~ @~ @~
"You're getting closer to Tenjou Utena," Akio murmured to her one evening, curled around her body. "You know what will happen."
"I know."
"Will you be able to continue? If it comes to that?"
Anthy didn't hesitate for a moment in answering. "Of course, I will. What else is there to do?"
Akio's fingers grazed the back of her neck. "You could refuse. You could leave me for her."
Anthy thought about Utena's loyalty. She thought about Utena's cluelessness. She thought about how Utena still slept with her sometimes, even though she clearly was guilty about being with Akio behind Anthy's back. "She's just a girl. You're my brother," Anthy finally said and Akio hummed in satisfaction at that answer.
As much as Akio lied, he never expected anyone to lie to him. So, he couldn't hear the lie in her voice when she called Utena "just" a girl. And Anthy was left to wrestle with her conflicting feelings about Utena, wondering if she had a choice after so long of not having one at all.
@~ @~ @~
"The girl prince tried to argue but the princess couldn't listen. The brother, with a smile on his face, ordered his sister to kill the girl prince. That’s when the princess, who was really the witch as well, used her powers to throw the girl prince out the window of the tower."
@~ @~ @~
Anthy set the point of the heart sword against the small of Utena's back. Utena made no sound; she only stiffened and then arched as Anthy slid the sword forward. Anthy pressed herself close, arms slipping around Utena's waist, closing her eyes as Utena's knees gave out. She lowered her to the floor gently as Utena gasped and choked out why, why, why. And all Anthy could say back was you're just a girl, you're just a girl, you're just a girl.
Utena grasped at the air as Anthy fell swiftly out of sight. She heard the angry buzz of the swords above her, the outrage of Akio behind her. None of that was nearly as important as the feeling of Anthy's fingers sliding through her own as Utena lost the strength to hold on. Any pain that happened now was well-earned; Anthy would be stuck in that horrible coffin forever because Utena had never been and never would be a prince.
@~ @~ @~
Utena was silent for a moment and then nudged Anthy's shoulder. "What happens next?"
Anthy shrugged. "Nothing else happens next. The girl prince failed to save anyone because the princess was just pretending that she needed saved. Since she didn't save anyone, she didn't become a prince at all. The girl prince loses her sight and never finds the princess again."
Pulling her hand out of Utena's, she looked away. "Everything was a betrayal in the end," she said into the darkness of the room.
[INTERMISSION]
[Backstage. Three girls sit around a flickering television, watching the end of a show. On the screen, a long-haired girl walks away from the viewer as the credits roll.]
A-Ko: What?! No! It can't just end there!
B-Ko: Why not? Seems as good an ending as any.
A-Ko: Because it's a bad ending! They didn't answer everything! What about the solid illusions?! What about the Prince? What about the stopwatch?!
B-Ko: (Wags a finger.) But that's not always the goal of a narrative. At least, I think that’s not the goal of a good narrative. Sometimes, it's better if you don't answer all the viewer's questions. If all the questions are answered, there's no reason for the viewer to become engaged in the story, to think about it more.
A-Ko: But the princess didn't even end up with the prince. Everyone knows that ironclad rule of a fairy tale. The princess must end up with the prince.
B-Ko: Well, I can't argue with that, but I think that the princess finds her prince is implied. I mean, she's left her brother for the first time ever. She's going to look for her prince, not the shadow of a prince that her brother was. What more do you want?
A-Ko: (Sulks.) I want a dramatic encounter with swelling music. I want eternal devotion and love pledged. I want KISSES, dammit!
B-Ko: (Rolls her eyes.) That would've been too much. This ending is perfect.
A-Ko: And you don't have a romantic bone in your body. (Turns to C-Ko.) Well, who do you agree with?
C-Ko: You mean, between the two of you?
B-Ko: Yep, do you agree with me, because the story left it up to the viewer to interpret, or with her, because the happy ending was more definite?
C-Ko: Oh. I liked the carousel towards the end.
A-Ko, B-Ko: (Pauses.) ...Uh-huh.
C-Ko: It was a nice allegorical representation of how the story continues on, no matter what happens, and a literal representation of the brother and sister were stuck in a forever loop. Carousels evoke a feeling of childhood while an empty carousel means that the brother and sister are too old for these games. The prince riding it only enforces that distinction. What they had was left behind long ago and they should accept that because otherwise they’ll go nowhere.
A-Ko: (Surprised.) That's... actually not a bad analysis.
C-Ko: Can I play all the animals on the carousel?
A-Ko: (Sighs.) Sure, if you want.
B-Ko: I have no idea why we even asked her opinion. You know what she’s like.
A-Ko: You know, one of these days she's going to take a side and it's going to be mine. (Turns off the television.) Once upon a time, there was a witch who trapped herself in a tall tower. She did so out of love for her evil brother, who had lost his way. While many suitors visited the tower, none of them ever tried to rescue the witch from her fate. Until one day a girl prince came with no other weapon than love. Things didn't end well, but then the story isn't over yet. Did you ever wonder what happened after the end of it all?
A-Ko, B-Ko, C-Ko: I wonder, I wonder, do you know what I wonder?
[END INTERMISSION]
Utena pulled Anthy into a hug and rolled over, until she had Anthy beneath her.
"It doesn't end there," Utena said insistently. "I know it doesn't. Let me finish it."
"Utena... "
"No, it doesn't end there. Please. Let me finish the story."
Anthy stared wide-eyed up at Utena and then slowly nodded.
Utena relaxed and then rolled to rest at Anthy's side. She pulled her in close, setting Anthy's head beneath her chin. She swallowed hard, let out a breath, and began.
"The girl prince realized her error as she fell. In fact, her error hit her harder than the ground did when she met it. Her error was so strong and when the girl prince got up, she found that she had been struck blind as a result.
"She called and called for the princess up in the tower but got no response from anyone. And so despairing, she began to wander, searching for the princess who the girl prince had grievously wronged, searching for the princess the girl prince desperately loved."
@~ @~ @~
When Utena first woke up, all she could see was the white of the sheets over her, the white of the walls, the white of the woman's uniform in front of her. All she could think was, "I'm still there. He's still got me and Anthy. Anthy's still suffering." She had started screaming and the woman in white did something and she fell blissfully asleep again.
Later, she truly woke up and couldn't remember screaming. She couldn't remember very much at all.
"I was in... a fencing tournament?"
The doctor nodded solemnly. "You were in the final match and the opponent's sword hadn't been tipped. You were scored through the body and nearly died, Miss Tenjou. We didn't think you would make it. If the blade hadn't missed all of your organs, you wouldn't have."
Utena looked from the doctor's concerned expression down at her hands. She didn't know what to say, mostly because she didn't remember any of that happening. It almost sounded like something out of a very trite story. The very last thing she could remember was being excited because she was transferring to a new school. She... she couldn't even remember the school's name.
"The nurses tell me that you're having trouble remembering."
Utena nodded, still looking down.
"It's unusual but not entirely without precedent. Your body just barely survived a huge shock, Miss Tenjou. It makes sense that your mind would suffer the same shock too."
The doctor had continued to explain about her life at Ohtori Academy (Ohtori, it was Ohtori!) and that her legal guardian didn't think it would be best for Utena to return back there. When the doctor slid a school transfer form beneath Utena's trembling fingers, Utena signed it because she couldn't think of what else to do.
@~ @~ @~
"The girl prince wandered for a long time. She wandered through plains, through mountains, through playgrounds. She wandered through swamps, through shopping malls, through deserts. She kept calling out for the princess whom she had wronged. Because... because..."
"Because?" Anthy prompted gently from beneath Utena's chin.
"Because she wanted to apologize for not seeing the princess properly," Utena finished quietly.
"Why would she? It's the princess who betrayed the girl prince. All the girl prince ever did was try to help," Anthy said.
"No," Utena said. "All the girl prince did was try to help herself."
@~ @~ @~
Utena struggled in her new school. She found it difficult to concentrate in class. Friendly girls approached her, wanting to get to know her, but they were all strangely disappointing after the initial introduction. Once her gym teacher discovered her athletic ability, he convinced her to join the basketball team. She quit after a couple of months. Like in her classes, she found concentrating difficult, even during practice. She would scan the bleachers instead of paying attention to the game. And she was without friends when she had no trouble making any in her previous schooling.
"Ugh, that Utena," she heard one girl say while Utena was in a bathroom stall. "She seemed nice enough when she came here but she's just so cold. It's almost like she's disappointed that you're not like her and then becomes distant."
"You know what I heard?" her friend responded in a conspiratorial whisper. "I heard that she lost her memory at her old school. That someone tried to kill her! I wonder what she did to get someone that angry. No wonder she doesn't like anyone!"
As painful as that was to hear, Utena knew that it was mostly true. Except Utena wasn't disappointed that people weren't like her, she suddenly realized that she was disappointed that they weren't who she was looking for. She was looking for someone in her lost memory and nobody at her current school was that person.
School got a little easier after that revelation but it didn't help solve her problems. So, she started using her allowance to travel, visiting towns around Japan when she could. Utena wandered unknown streets and shrines, bought snacks at markets and stores. Her eyes searched the towns for someone she didn't remember and she did this for two years.
One day, while she was walking through Akihabara, a girl with her hair in pigtails stopped her. "Flyer?"
Utena had been about to refuse it when she saw the edges of the purple flyer were covered with little stylized roses. She hesitated and then reached out to grab the offered paper.
"It's a music festival," the girl explained. "Lots of amateur bands and singers are playing. I hope you come!"
Utena stood still as the other girl walked away. Her eyes were glued to the flyer.
AKIHABARA DAY CONCERT
December 17th @ 3:00PM
One of many themed day concerts inspired by
The ideas of love, nobility, eternity, and REVOLUTION.
Featuring many local artists
Such as
Creeping Miracle
Tower Cantaloupe
Alice and The Drifters
And
The Eternal Rose
Utena carefully folded the flyer and placed it in her pocket. She couldn't explain exactly why her heart sped up at the words "nobility", "eternity", and "revolution". She didn't know why the phrase "eternal rose" sent a spike of dread through her. However, she knew without a doubt that she would be in Akihabara on the seventeenth.
@~ @~ @~
"The girl prince thought she had wandered forever. She thought she would never find her princess, that she had lost her for all time. But then one day, she was walking through a forest and she heard something special. At first she thought it was a dream, an illusion. But it wasn't a dream; the girl prince was hearing someone singing."
@~ @~ @~
Utena arrived at the festival late.
The turn-out wasn't very good and almost no one was paying attention to the act on stage. About fifty people were in the audience, talking with friends, looking at their cell phones. A band was playing something lyrical and foreign as Utena sat down near the back. She fidgeted while the band finished the song and bowed to indifferent applause.
The different singers and bands continued as Utena became more and more disappointed. Whatever she thought she was going to find here, it obviously was a mistake. While all the songs did surround the themes that the flyer had promised, she didn't get the same shock as before, the feeling of recognition.
"It must be a fluke," she mumbled to herself as she stood. She walked away from the stage as a new singer took the stage.
"My name is Anthy but some call me the Eternal Rose. I will be singing 'Take My Revolution'."
The girl began to sing and Utena stopped in her tracks. The song... the song was unimportant. It was the singer's voice that caught her attention. Utena turned around and stared at the singer on stage. She was dark-skinned with purple hair falling to her knees. She wore a dark red sleeveless dress. And Utena knew her. She knew her!
"Himemiya?" Utena whispered. "Anthy?"
The singer closed her eyes and held out her hands as she sang about revolution and love. Utena started to walk towards the stage and remembered. She remembered a wide dueling arena. She remembered sword fights and swirls of rose petals as the roses were skewered through. She remembered dark nights in the arms of a quiet and mysterious girl.
She remembered a thousand swords singing with hate and she remembered despair so strong that she might just die from it.
"Anthy!" Utena said and found she had no room for other words in her throat or her head. "Anthy! ANTHY! ANTHY!"
The singer broke off mid-chorus and jerked her head towards her. "Utena?" she said, the word echoing through the mike against the back-drop of the music. "Utena?" The singer locked eyes with Utena and gasped. "UTENA!"
Utena's legs gave out and she fell to the ground. Anthy jumped off the stage and ran to her, arms wide. She flung herself before Utena and grabbed her in a fierce hug. The feeling of the concrete ground on her knees, her hair being pulled a little in Anthy's grip, the whispers and laughter of the people around them, it all fell away. Anthy's face . . . her face on stage had been as open and honest as it had been only two times before; when Anthy confessed to Utena on the top of the Ohtori tower and when Utena had broken into Anthy's coffin at the end of it all. It was Anthy, the true Anthy that Utena was hugging. They cried in each other's arms and Utena ignored everything else. There was only one thing she cared about.
Anthy was free and everything would be alright.
@~ @~ @~
"The girl prince ran blindly, sometimes tripping over rocks, sometimes slamming face-first into trees. But she got up every time to follow the sound of the voice. As she got closer, she knew that it was her princess' voice. She only stopped when her princess' arms drew around her and they both fell to the ground weeping from happiness.
"'I found you,' the girl prince said over and over.
"'No, we found each other,' the princess said.
"The princess' tears fell into the girl prince’s eyes and the girl prince's sight was cleared. She saw for the first time since she had been pushed from the tower and what she saw was her princess smiling at her. It was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen."
"Why was it so beautiful?" Anthy asked.
"Because she could see that the princess was free."
@~ @~ @~
It was much later, when Utena and Anthy curled up on the bed in Utena's boarding room, that Utena asked the question. "Why didn't you find me sooner?" Utena mumbled around a mouthful of Anthy’s hair. "It's been two years. I've been missing you for two years."
"It was the spell."
Utena pulled back. "Spell?"
Anthy smiled. "If I had known beforehand what would have happened, I would have cancelled it. But it was an automatic thing because... because, well, once the final duel begins, I'm not much good for anything. So the spell happened automatically."
Utena frowned thoughtfully. "The spell... hid me from you?"
"From me and Akio." Anthy brushed a finger against Utena's cheek. "I had decided long ago when I was more... kind... that when the victors were discarded, I didn't want Akio finding them again. Being ruined once was enough. And if I wanted to ensure that Akio couldn't find them, I had to also ensure that I couldn't find them. So I couldn't just cast a spell to find you, Utena. You were lost to me in every way."
Utena leaned into Anthy's touch. "But I could find you."
"Yes, you could find me. I did try to find you first by regular means. I searched school directories, enrollment lists, telephone books. But the spell..." Anthy shrugged. "It was a very good spell I cast. I suppose that if I saw your name, I wouldn't have recognized it."
"So this festival... "
"Well, it's a regular festival. I joined it as a singer awhile ago since they usually visited most towns in Japan. You see, I didn't think you would remember very much. What you could remember was probably more sensory than an actual memory. The feeling of a sword in your hands, the sound of the elevator cage, the smell of roses, the taste of my curry. And, of course, the sound of my voice."
"It was like a revelation when you first started singing." Utena paused. "Putting the roses on the flyer was what first caught my attention, though. And calling yourself the Eternal Rose. I wouldn't think that you'd like roses anymore."
"Why not?"
"Well... because of the duels. Because of your greenhouse. I remember thinking that your greenhouse was too much like a cage."
Anthy laughed. "Roses are roses. They might not have the best association for me but you have to understand this one thing, Utena; Akio has no power over me."
"Are you sure..."
Anthy cradled Utena's face between her hands. "The important thing about being the Rose Bride is that nobody can be forced into the role. She's not just a bride, she’s a sacrifice and only a willing sacrifice will work. She has to volunteer for the swords of hate. Because of you, I have quit being the Rose Bride and nobody, nobody could convince me to pick up that role again."
Uten'’s felt a smile grow onto her face until she thought she would split wide open. "Promise?"
"I promise," Anthy said and then leaned down to kiss her.
@~ @~ @~
"And then they lived happily ever after."
Anthy sighed. "I suppose that is the traditional ending."
"It's the only ending," Utena insisted.
They lay in bed, curled around each other in silence. Finally, Anthy said softly, "Once upon a time, there was a girl locked in a tower who had only ever done one thing and didn't know what happily ever after meant."
Utena smiled and leaned over to kiss Anthy. "All she has to do is let someone into her tower and show her."
printfogey was a gem and did a GREAT beta. In the end, I'm pretty satisfied with what I finished with. I wouldn't say it's a perfect story but there are some elements that I adore and the flow is well-defined.Title: A Better Happy Ending
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Rating: PG
Summary: "Once upon a time," Anthy began, "there was a girl who wanted to be a prince."
Notes: Written for veleda_k. The title is from the song "Fairytale" by Sara Bareilles. Thank you very, very much serrende for the absolutely fabulous beta. This story would have been riddled with grammar and tone issues without your input!
"Once upon a time," Anthy began, "there was a girl who wanted to be a prince."
Utena smiled and bumped Anthy’s shoulder with her own. They lay beside each other on Anthy's half-moon bed, ankle to hip to cheek. "That sounds more than a little familiar."
"The best stories are the ones that people are already familiar with." Anthy laced her fingers together with Utena's and continued. "The girl prince didn't know how someone actually became a prince but decided that she wouldn't wait around for it to happen. She would go out and claim the title for herself. So she bought a horse, stole a sword, and set off into the world.
"It wasn't long until she came to a tower. It spiraled up and up, higher than the girl prince thought a tower could be built. The girl prince dismounted from her horse and circled the tower's base. All the way at the very top of the building was a window."
"Let me guess," said Utena. "She called up."
Anthy smiled. "Yes, she called up. She shouted as loud as she could, asking if there was anyone inside. And after a moment, someone leaned out."
"A princess?"
"Who else? The princess at the top of the tower dropped something. As it spilled out and unfurled, the girl prince realized that it was hair tumbling down out of the tower. Even though she thought a hair ladder was a little odd, in the end her curiosity about its owner got the better of her and she climbed it up."
Anthy knew about Tenjou Utena's arrival. How could she not? After all, Anthy herself had been the one to call Utena to Ohtori Academy. Otherwise, the duelists would have just been safely limited to the Student Council.
"Anthy," Akio had said to her one day right after the duels had started again, "how are the duelists coming along?"
"Fine," she had answered because they were. It was only the very beginning of the game, after all. Everyone was always fine at the beginning, before she and Akio started stirring things up.
"Fine," he had mused, frowning. "You always say they're fine and they always fail in the end. That's why we haven't opened the door yet. We need something new. We need a complication."
"I think we have enough complications." Like tricking the duelists into continuing to fight, like making sure that nobody ever had too much information, like keeping the planetarium running on magic and a prayer. Akio, of course, didn't bother to get too involved with the details. It was always up to Anthy to make sure that everything ran smoothly.
"It's too boring," he had still insisted. "Anthy, bring someone new here. Bring someone fresh and random. I want this round to be interesting. I want to be surprised."
And so she had gone to the very top of Ohtori tower. She had taken off her shoes and let down her hair. As the wind whipped about, she had cast a spell with the words "new" and "interesting" and "complication". Utena had been the answer from the moment the spell took effect and when Utena stepped onto the Ohtori campus for the first time, Anthy felt it in her marrow.
It even hadn't been a surprise that Utena already had a duelist ring on her finger. Like calls to like and magic calls to magic, after all.
"The girl prince climbed to the top of the tower and found herself in a small room. It had a bed, a table, and a princess.
"'Why are you up here alone in this tower?' the girl prince asked.
"'I've been imprisoned by a witch,' the princess answered. 'I have no way to leave this place.'"
"I've never understood that part of the story," Utena said. "Why would the witch imprison a girl like that? What’s the point?"
Anthy smiled and freed one of her hands from Utena's to tap Utena's cheek. "Witches are jealous, of course. They want everything for themselves and that includes princesses, since they can never become princesses themselves."
Utena frowned but didn't say anything else and Anthy continued.
"'Well, show me where this witch is,' the girl prince said, 'and I will fight her! I'm a prince and I've decided that I will save you!'
"The princess smiled and said that that sounded fine. However, the witch was away at that moment so would the girl prince like some tea?"
Utena laughed and recaptured Anthy's hand. "Of course, she would offer tea. I'm sure that would be the first thing I would to if I were imprisoned and had a visitor."
Anthy smiled. "Maybe the princess simply wanted the girl prince to stay longer."
"Oh. Um, well, go on then."
"The girl prince agreed to the tea. Both the princess and girl prince had a good time talking and when the girl prince left to climb back down the curtain of hair, she promised she would be back to fight the witch the next day. But when the next day came, the witch still wasn't in the tower. And even though the girl prince kept promising to come back to defeat the witch, it wasn't long until she was coming back for more the princess' company than to keep her promise. You see, they had become good friends during the girl prince’s visits. Good friends," Anthy said in a murmur, "and maybe something more."
The duels proceeded as expected. Friendship, Choice, Reason, Love: there was a specific rationale for each of the fights. The first round was to finalize the main players of the game. Sometimes players were discarded in those first duels as not strong enough. Sometimes players were added, like Utena.
"I like the complication you brought in," Akio had said to her after Saionji's first fight with Utena. "She's already creating a stir." Anthy had smiled and held back from telling her brother that she liked the complication too.
Utena had won almost all of the duels, climbing the steps dutifully to the dueling arena. Anthy tried to not get too attached to any of the victors of the duels but she found herself warming to Tenjou Utena. She was just so kind, so determined to stand up for Anthy. She couldn't remember if a duelist had ever been so selfless.
And yet, sometimes Utena could be a little too patronizing.
"Why don't you even try a little to make friends, Himemiya?" she would ask over and over. "You don't even try to be friendly with the Student Council. Not Saionji, of course, but Miki and Juri are okay. Just follow my lead if you don’t know what to do!"
"Alright, Miss Utena," Anthy would respond and then do absolutely nothing. She didn't want to be friends with the Student Council. She didn't want to be friends with anyone and Utena never tried to accept that.
But still... Utena stuck by her and defended her and was Anthy's friend when Anthy would have none. Utena had no more reason to fight in the duels but kept going because of Anthy herself. That Utena was fighting for Anthy alone was a terrifying revelation.
And then one night, Anthy had slipped into Utena's bed, stilled Utena's protests, and pushed the game in another direction. After that night, they sometimes slept together; Anthy cherished those moments, not because of the sex, but because of the simple intimacy afterwards.
"And then one day, the girl prince climbed to the top of the tower like usual. But the princess wasn't alone that day. Someone else was with her."
"The witch?" Utena guessed.
"No. The princess' brother."
Utena looked at Anthy, startled. "Her... brother?"
"That was when the princess told the girl prince the truth. That she could never leave the tower because she had promised to stay by her brother's side forever. That she had kept luring the girl prince to the tower for her brother's sake and that the girl prince would be a fitting sacrifice."
"You're getting closer to Tenjou Utena," Akio murmured to her one evening, curled around her body. "You know what will happen."
"I know."
"Will you be able to continue? If it comes to that?"
Anthy didn't hesitate for a moment in answering. "Of course, I will. What else is there to do?"
Akio's fingers grazed the back of her neck. "You could refuse. You could leave me for her."
Anthy thought about Utena's loyalty. She thought about Utena's cluelessness. She thought about how Utena still slept with her sometimes, even though she clearly was guilty about being with Akio behind Anthy's back. "She's just a girl. You're my brother," Anthy finally said and Akio hummed in satisfaction at that answer.
As much as Akio lied, he never expected anyone to lie to him. So, he couldn't hear the lie in her voice when she called Utena "just" a girl. And Anthy was left to wrestle with her conflicting feelings about Utena, wondering if she had a choice after so long of not having one at all.
"The girl prince tried to argue but the princess couldn't listen. The brother, with a smile on his face, ordered his sister to kill the girl prince. That’s when the princess, who was really the witch as well, used her powers to throw the girl prince out the window of the tower."
Anthy set the point of the heart sword against the small of Utena's back. Utena made no sound; she only stiffened and then arched as Anthy slid the sword forward. Anthy pressed herself close, arms slipping around Utena's waist, closing her eyes as Utena's knees gave out. She lowered her to the floor gently as Utena gasped and choked out why, why, why. And all Anthy could say back was you're just a girl, you're just a girl, you're just a girl.
Utena grasped at the air as Anthy fell swiftly out of sight. She heard the angry buzz of the swords above her, the outrage of Akio behind her. None of that was nearly as important as the feeling of Anthy's fingers sliding through her own as Utena lost the strength to hold on. Any pain that happened now was well-earned; Anthy would be stuck in that horrible coffin forever because Utena had never been and never would be a prince.
Utena was silent for a moment and then nudged Anthy's shoulder. "What happens next?"
Anthy shrugged. "Nothing else happens next. The girl prince failed to save anyone because the princess was just pretending that she needed saved. Since she didn't save anyone, she didn't become a prince at all. The girl prince loses her sight and never finds the princess again."
Pulling her hand out of Utena's, she looked away. "Everything was a betrayal in the end," she said into the darkness of the room.
[Backstage. Three girls sit around a flickering television, watching the end of a show. On the screen, a long-haired girl walks away from the viewer as the credits roll.]
A-Ko: What?! No! It can't just end there!
B-Ko: Why not? Seems as good an ending as any.
A-Ko: Because it's a bad ending! They didn't answer everything! What about the solid illusions?! What about the Prince? What about the stopwatch?!
B-Ko: (Wags a finger.) But that's not always the goal of a narrative. At least, I think that’s not the goal of a good narrative. Sometimes, it's better if you don't answer all the viewer's questions. If all the questions are answered, there's no reason for the viewer to become engaged in the story, to think about it more.
A-Ko: But the princess didn't even end up with the prince. Everyone knows that ironclad rule of a fairy tale. The princess must end up with the prince.
B-Ko: Well, I can't argue with that, but I think that the princess finds her prince is implied. I mean, she's left her brother for the first time ever. She's going to look for her prince, not the shadow of a prince that her brother was. What more do you want?
A-Ko: (Sulks.) I want a dramatic encounter with swelling music. I want eternal devotion and love pledged. I want KISSES, dammit!
B-Ko: (Rolls her eyes.) That would've been too much. This ending is perfect.
A-Ko: And you don't have a romantic bone in your body. (Turns to C-Ko.) Well, who do you agree with?
C-Ko: You mean, between the two of you?
B-Ko: Yep, do you agree with me, because the story left it up to the viewer to interpret, or with her, because the happy ending was more definite?
C-Ko: Oh. I liked the carousel towards the end.
A-Ko, B-Ko: (Pauses.) ...Uh-huh.
C-Ko: It was a nice allegorical representation of how the story continues on, no matter what happens, and a literal representation of the brother and sister were stuck in a forever loop. Carousels evoke a feeling of childhood while an empty carousel means that the brother and sister are too old for these games. The prince riding it only enforces that distinction. What they had was left behind long ago and they should accept that because otherwise they’ll go nowhere.
A-Ko: (Surprised.) That's... actually not a bad analysis.
C-Ko: Can I play all the animals on the carousel?
A-Ko: (Sighs.) Sure, if you want.
B-Ko: I have no idea why we even asked her opinion. You know what she’s like.
A-Ko: You know, one of these days she's going to take a side and it's going to be mine. (Turns off the television.) Once upon a time, there was a witch who trapped herself in a tall tower. She did so out of love for her evil brother, who had lost his way. While many suitors visited the tower, none of them ever tried to rescue the witch from her fate. Until one day a girl prince came with no other weapon than love. Things didn't end well, but then the story isn't over yet. Did you ever wonder what happened after the end of it all?
A-Ko, B-Ko, C-Ko: I wonder, I wonder, do you know what I wonder?
Utena pulled Anthy into a hug and rolled over, until she had Anthy beneath her.
"It doesn't end there," Utena said insistently. "I know it doesn't. Let me finish it."
"Utena... "
"No, it doesn't end there. Please. Let me finish the story."
Anthy stared wide-eyed up at Utena and then slowly nodded.
Utena relaxed and then rolled to rest at Anthy's side. She pulled her in close, setting Anthy's head beneath her chin. She swallowed hard, let out a breath, and began.
"The girl prince realized her error as she fell. In fact, her error hit her harder than the ground did when she met it. Her error was so strong and when the girl prince got up, she found that she had been struck blind as a result.
"She called and called for the princess up in the tower but got no response from anyone. And so despairing, she began to wander, searching for the princess who the girl prince had grievously wronged, searching for the princess the girl prince desperately loved."
When Utena first woke up, all she could see was the white of the sheets over her, the white of the walls, the white of the woman's uniform in front of her. All she could think was, "I'm still there. He's still got me and Anthy. Anthy's still suffering." She had started screaming and the woman in white did something and she fell blissfully asleep again.
Later, she truly woke up and couldn't remember screaming. She couldn't remember very much at all.
"I was in... a fencing tournament?"
The doctor nodded solemnly. "You were in the final match and the opponent's sword hadn't been tipped. You were scored through the body and nearly died, Miss Tenjou. We didn't think you would make it. If the blade hadn't missed all of your organs, you wouldn't have."
Utena looked from the doctor's concerned expression down at her hands. She didn't know what to say, mostly because she didn't remember any of that happening. It almost sounded like something out of a very trite story. The very last thing she could remember was being excited because she was transferring to a new school. She... she couldn't even remember the school's name.
"The nurses tell me that you're having trouble remembering."
Utena nodded, still looking down.
"It's unusual but not entirely without precedent. Your body just barely survived a huge shock, Miss Tenjou. It makes sense that your mind would suffer the same shock too."
The doctor had continued to explain about her life at Ohtori Academy (Ohtori, it was Ohtori!) and that her legal guardian didn't think it would be best for Utena to return back there. When the doctor slid a school transfer form beneath Utena's trembling fingers, Utena signed it because she couldn't think of what else to do.
"The girl prince wandered for a long time. She wandered through plains, through mountains, through playgrounds. She wandered through swamps, through shopping malls, through deserts. She kept calling out for the princess whom she had wronged. Because... because..."
"Because?" Anthy prompted gently from beneath Utena's chin.
"Because she wanted to apologize for not seeing the princess properly," Utena finished quietly.
"Why would she? It's the princess who betrayed the girl prince. All the girl prince ever did was try to help," Anthy said.
"No," Utena said. "All the girl prince did was try to help herself."
Utena struggled in her new school. She found it difficult to concentrate in class. Friendly girls approached her, wanting to get to know her, but they were all strangely disappointing after the initial introduction. Once her gym teacher discovered her athletic ability, he convinced her to join the basketball team. She quit after a couple of months. Like in her classes, she found concentrating difficult, even during practice. She would scan the bleachers instead of paying attention to the game. And she was without friends when she had no trouble making any in her previous schooling.
"Ugh, that Utena," she heard one girl say while Utena was in a bathroom stall. "She seemed nice enough when she came here but she's just so cold. It's almost like she's disappointed that you're not like her and then becomes distant."
"You know what I heard?" her friend responded in a conspiratorial whisper. "I heard that she lost her memory at her old school. That someone tried to kill her! I wonder what she did to get someone that angry. No wonder she doesn't like anyone!"
As painful as that was to hear, Utena knew that it was mostly true. Except Utena wasn't disappointed that people weren't like her, she suddenly realized that she was disappointed that they weren't who she was looking for. She was looking for someone in her lost memory and nobody at her current school was that person.
School got a little easier after that revelation but it didn't help solve her problems. So, she started using her allowance to travel, visiting towns around Japan when she could. Utena wandered unknown streets and shrines, bought snacks at markets and stores. Her eyes searched the towns for someone she didn't remember and she did this for two years.
One day, while she was walking through Akihabara, a girl with her hair in pigtails stopped her. "Flyer?"
Utena had been about to refuse it when she saw the edges of the purple flyer were covered with little stylized roses. She hesitated and then reached out to grab the offered paper.
"It's a music festival," the girl explained. "Lots of amateur bands and singers are playing. I hope you come!"
Utena stood still as the other girl walked away. Her eyes were glued to the flyer.
Utena carefully folded the flyer and placed it in her pocket. She couldn't explain exactly why her heart sped up at the words "nobility", "eternity", and "revolution". She didn't know why the phrase "eternal rose" sent a spike of dread through her. However, she knew without a doubt that she would be in Akihabara on the seventeenth.
"The girl prince thought she had wandered forever. She thought she would never find her princess, that she had lost her for all time. But then one day, she was walking through a forest and she heard something special. At first she thought it was a dream, an illusion. But it wasn't a dream; the girl prince was hearing someone singing."
Utena arrived at the festival late.
The turn-out wasn't very good and almost no one was paying attention to the act on stage. About fifty people were in the audience, talking with friends, looking at their cell phones. A band was playing something lyrical and foreign as Utena sat down near the back. She fidgeted while the band finished the song and bowed to indifferent applause.
The different singers and bands continued as Utena became more and more disappointed. Whatever she thought she was going to find here, it obviously was a mistake. While all the songs did surround the themes that the flyer had promised, she didn't get the same shock as before, the feeling of recognition.
"It must be a fluke," she mumbled to herself as she stood. She walked away from the stage as a new singer took the stage.
"My name is Anthy but some call me the Eternal Rose. I will be singing 'Take My Revolution'."
The girl began to sing and Utena stopped in her tracks. The song... the song was unimportant. It was the singer's voice that caught her attention. Utena turned around and stared at the singer on stage. She was dark-skinned with purple hair falling to her knees. She wore a dark red sleeveless dress. And Utena knew her. She knew her!
"Himemiya?" Utena whispered. "Anthy?"
The singer closed her eyes and held out her hands as she sang about revolution and love. Utena started to walk towards the stage and remembered. She remembered a wide dueling arena. She remembered sword fights and swirls of rose petals as the roses were skewered through. She remembered dark nights in the arms of a quiet and mysterious girl.
She remembered a thousand swords singing with hate and she remembered despair so strong that she might just die from it.
"Anthy!" Utena said and found she had no room for other words in her throat or her head. "Anthy! ANTHY! ANTHY!"
The singer broke off mid-chorus and jerked her head towards her. "Utena?" she said, the word echoing through the mike against the back-drop of the music. "Utena?" The singer locked eyes with Utena and gasped. "UTENA!"
Utena's legs gave out and she fell to the ground. Anthy jumped off the stage and ran to her, arms wide. She flung herself before Utena and grabbed her in a fierce hug. The feeling of the concrete ground on her knees, her hair being pulled a little in Anthy's grip, the whispers and laughter of the people around them, it all fell away. Anthy's face . . . her face on stage had been as open and honest as it had been only two times before; when Anthy confessed to Utena on the top of the Ohtori tower and when Utena had broken into Anthy's coffin at the end of it all. It was Anthy, the true Anthy that Utena was hugging. They cried in each other's arms and Utena ignored everything else. There was only one thing she cared about.
Anthy was free and everything would be alright.
"The girl prince ran blindly, sometimes tripping over rocks, sometimes slamming face-first into trees. But she got up every time to follow the sound of the voice. As she got closer, she knew that it was her princess' voice. She only stopped when her princess' arms drew around her and they both fell to the ground weeping from happiness.
"'I found you,' the girl prince said over and over.
"'No, we found each other,' the princess said.
"The princess' tears fell into the girl prince’s eyes and the girl prince's sight was cleared. She saw for the first time since she had been pushed from the tower and what she saw was her princess smiling at her. It was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen."
"Why was it so beautiful?" Anthy asked.
"Because she could see that the princess was free."
It was much later, when Utena and Anthy curled up on the bed in Utena's boarding room, that Utena asked the question. "Why didn't you find me sooner?" Utena mumbled around a mouthful of Anthy’s hair. "It's been two years. I've been missing you for two years."
"It was the spell."
Utena pulled back. "Spell?"
Anthy smiled. "If I had known beforehand what would have happened, I would have cancelled it. But it was an automatic thing because... because, well, once the final duel begins, I'm not much good for anything. So the spell happened automatically."
Utena frowned thoughtfully. "The spell... hid me from you?"
"From me and Akio." Anthy brushed a finger against Utena's cheek. "I had decided long ago when I was more... kind... that when the victors were discarded, I didn't want Akio finding them again. Being ruined once was enough. And if I wanted to ensure that Akio couldn't find them, I had to also ensure that I couldn't find them. So I couldn't just cast a spell to find you, Utena. You were lost to me in every way."
Utena leaned into Anthy's touch. "But I could find you."
"Yes, you could find me. I did try to find you first by regular means. I searched school directories, enrollment lists, telephone books. But the spell..." Anthy shrugged. "It was a very good spell I cast. I suppose that if I saw your name, I wouldn't have recognized it."
"So this festival... "
"Well, it's a regular festival. I joined it as a singer awhile ago since they usually visited most towns in Japan. You see, I didn't think you would remember very much. What you could remember was probably more sensory than an actual memory. The feeling of a sword in your hands, the sound of the elevator cage, the smell of roses, the taste of my curry. And, of course, the sound of my voice."
"It was like a revelation when you first started singing." Utena paused. "Putting the roses on the flyer was what first caught my attention, though. And calling yourself the Eternal Rose. I wouldn't think that you'd like roses anymore."
"Why not?"
"Well... because of the duels. Because of your greenhouse. I remember thinking that your greenhouse was too much like a cage."
Anthy laughed. "Roses are roses. They might not have the best association for me but you have to understand this one thing, Utena; Akio has no power over me."
"Are you sure..."
Anthy cradled Utena's face between her hands. "The important thing about being the Rose Bride is that nobody can be forced into the role. She's not just a bride, she’s a sacrifice and only a willing sacrifice will work. She has to volunteer for the swords of hate. Because of you, I have quit being the Rose Bride and nobody, nobody could convince me to pick up that role again."
Uten'’s felt a smile grow onto her face until she thought she would split wide open. "Promise?"
"I promise," Anthy said and then leaned down to kiss her.
"And then they lived happily ever after."
Anthy sighed. "I suppose that is the traditional ending."
"It's the only ending," Utena insisted.
They lay in bed, curled around each other in silence. Finally, Anthy said softly, "Once upon a time, there was a girl locked in a tower who had only ever done one thing and didn't know what happily ever after meant."
Utena smiled and leaned over to kiss Anthy. "All she has to do is let someone into her tower and show her."